I’m still relaxed and holding on to as much of the happy glow as I can from my four day trip to Womon Gathering. Today is the first day back at work and thankfully the workload is not awful, just a little hectic.
I don’t want to start thinking of yet another “diet” right away and totally burst my happy bubble, so I’m going to wait until the weekend and see what I can figure out then.
Just for the record I decided to weigh myself before I went away (Thursday 6/12), so for week 107 I was 251.5 (a gain of 6.5 lbs from the last weighin two weeks earlier). I weighed the same Monday morning (6/16) the morning after I got back. I weighed myself this morning after being home just one day and the scale said 255.5 - a gain of 4 lbs in one night.
So what does this mean? Being home makes me fat. Being away, no stress, eating anything I wanted I didn’t gain an ounce.
While on vacation - 3 vegetarian meals were provided daily and I had a few snacks back at the cabin (but not many, just a few wheat thins here and there, some chocolate covered coffee beans). The meals were not diet meals, but prepared in a healthy way (baked, steamed, roasted) - I had bread with butter, potatoes, salad with regular dressings, hummus, egg plant parmigiana, rice and beans, hard boiled eggs, oatmeal, pancakes with syrup. One day I had a pineapple ice and the next day I had an ice cream bar.
If I had eaten all of that at home, I would have gained at least 10 pounds if not more.
But I don’t want to think about it all for awhile. After four days of being away and spending time with the wonderful, glorious women at the gathering, in all shapes and all sizes, proud of who they are, comfortable in their own skin, unashamed of their bodies, I want to learn from their example and wisdom, and just focus on being me and accepting myself as I am right now and right here.
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STUMBLE!
June 17th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
1
Carol Bardelli wrote…
Welcome home!
I know a few other diet bloggers that are have issues with stress and weight gain. I know your issues are different because of the heart failure and water weight it causes. Maybe you have an excess of cortisol (released during stress) that’s also complicating things. Unfortunately I don’t know much you can do about it beyond controlling stress. Sort of a Catch 22.
I’m glad you enjoyed the Womon Gathering. I look forward to your posts on your experiences.
June 18th, 2008 at 6:16 am
2
Lady Rose wrote…
Thanks for your support Carol. I am going to focus on keeping the lessons I learned at Womon Gathering close to my heart and having less stress in my life.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:34 am
3
Positive Attitude! wrote…
Sounds like you had a great time. Those type of groups and philosophy is great for getting your attitude positive. However, you have to be real and understand that it is not healthy to be morbidly obese.
You may never be skinny. I know I never will. However, there is a certain level of fat that is not completely unhealthy. Maybe that is 20 pounds overweight, or maybe it is at 30 pounds overweight. You need to think realistically about a goal weight that you can live with and then work to achieve that goal.
I have read some of those Fat Acceptance blogs and I think that those folks are pathetic. They don’t even try, and they are like pigs wallowing in their own excrement.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:15 am
4
Lady Rose wrote…
Hey Positive thanks for taking the time to comment -
Just for the record - Womon Gathering had nothing to do with weight at all, it is a spiritual gathering of women from many different paths, faiths, and religions.
Trust me I know that morbidly obese is not healthy. If you look over the history of this blog - and the posts that go over my previous health and weight history before this blog - you’ll see I have been dieting since the age of 13 (that is about 40 years worth of dieting). My diet is usually about 800 to 900 calories a day - which on a good day means I can maintain my weight but rarely lose anything.
I can gain 9 lbs overnight without even eating anything - mostly likely from the congestive heart failure. Doctors and nutritionists that I have seen so far just tell me to eat less - but 800 to 900 calories a day is about as low as I can go without passing out - since I have to work full time, I have a family and home to take care of.
I will not judge others and I respect those who support the Fat Acceptance way of thought.
For myself - I want to accept myself regardless of size or shape, I will continue to do my best to get healthy, choose healthy food options and keep my calories under 1000 a day and lower when possible - however I am also working on accepting that no matter what I do, I may never lose the weight (has the last 4 decades of dieting have shown), and if that is the case then I feel it is much better for me to accept that and be happy then to continue beating myself up emotionally for being a failure.
I am open to all suggestions and health tips so please feel free to comment. I would love to find a supplement or a diet plan that was healthy and that actually worked. (Note I’ve tried dozens of diets such as Atkins, Weight Watchers, even Medifast - nothing has worked so far).