Week 106 - Yes I know everyone is waiting with baited breath for my usual Saturday morning weighin. I’m sure my lack of posting the scale readings will affect the betting odds in Vegas for all those who gamble on how much I actually gained this week.
But I have decided to totally ignore the scale today. I know - I know - I know!!!!!! The sky is falling and it’s the end of the world as we know it.
I know from how I feel that, I have gained at least a TON (maybe more this week). I have been eating like a normal person - which for me means I will be as large as a full grown whale very soon. It’s a dangerous slope downhill. I had all intentions of only being off my diet plan for the long weekend and getting back on the wagon this past Tuesday. I have a big “mental block” about starting a diet on any other day then a Monday, (it’s a new week, a fresh start).
So today I am visiting my dear friend Mama Kelly for the day. We are going to plan out the details for packing and preparing for our four day trip to Womon Gathering (June 12-15). I am bringing take out pizza and other goodies for dinner with her family. (And yes I will eat some - shocking isn’t it). Angelgirl is away at Karate camp and will return tomorrow, so we will be on the road for most of the day Sunday.
Then of course my brain says, well why go back on any kind of diet next week when you are going on vacation on June 12th for four days and you know you’ll gain even more then (after all they will be serving all healthy vegetarian meals which means real food not just protein packets, celery and water! - when I used to be vegetarian years ago was when I gained a huge amount of weight).
So the new PLAN is to enjoy myself at Womon Gathering. It is four days in a sacred space, enjoying nature, taking classes, drumming, and a whole lot more, and spiritually renewing my heart and soul. I am taking off work that following Monday to ease back into every day life slowly. I can shop and stock up fresh celery, flavored water, some apples and perhaps a few other things on a NEW diet plan and start fresh on Monday, June 16.
I am guessing by then I will be very close to being back at my original starting weight from two years ago of 293.5 lbs. Two weeks ago (week 105) I was already back up to 245 lbs (complete two year weighin summary). This week I’m guessing I gained at least 10 or more pounds, and with two more weeks after today of normal eating with an added vacation tossed in, my guess is about another 30 lbs will be gained.
So my guess for my new starting weight on June 16 is 285 lbs.
I have lost track of how many times over the past 40 years I’ve tried to lose weight, only to gain it all back and tons MORE. I started out at about age 13 trying to lose 5 to 10 lbs, and after 4 decades of dieting I have managed to gain 100s of pounds time and time again. I could be the poster child for an ad that reads: Diets do NOT work! At least this time, I even though I gained almost all of it back, I am hoping I get stop the rapid gain before I actually gain enough to weigh more then when I started two years ago.
I will try not to whine and complain too much as my hips swell, my thighs get even lumpier, and my twin chins add a third to the collection over the next two weeks. I just hope I have at least a couple of pants and a couple tops that will still fit by the time I leave on June 12. Otherwise I’ll have to shop for some larger clothes - part of me regrets letting myself be optimistic last fall when I was at my lowest weight of 194.5 lbs and tossed out all my 3x and 2x pants. I’m busting out of my 1x’s again, but thank goodness I didn’t toss those out too and only bought a couple of things in extra large.
I’m not giving up! I am staying positive. My overall goal to live till 100 and beyond and be healthy is still my number one goal! Numbers on the scale do not define who I am.
I will be back to regularly scheduled weighins beginning renewed, refreshed, and rejuvenated June 16, 2008 with my new starting point weight.
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STUMBLE!
June 1st, 2008 at 9:40 am
1
karen wrote…
For many of us, like you, there is little correlation between what we eat and what we weigh. It’s so frustrating. Doctors, of course, have no answers. (More water, more fibre. Sigh!)
However, a co-worker had a chiropractic appointment and was told that there was pressure on her thyroid which had caused an inexplicable 5-lb weight gain. The misallignment was also causing headaches and fatigue, which is why she went in in the first place.
After her chiro adjustment the weight came off without a change her eating habits. She doesn’t have a weight problem and can usually eat anything she wants without a change in her 110 lbs.
June 1st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
2
Janice wrote…
Hi Lady Rose,
My heart goes out to you as I, like many of us, have been in the same situation. Five times I have lost 100 pounds or more and regained, as you say, more than I started out with. I have struggled all my life with overeating and the resulting weight gain.
I have developed many illnesses and maladies from poor eating but when I eat healthier I begin to get my life back. And that is what I am doing at present.
I know this isn’t ‘Janice’s Blog’, but I will share what has been some of my experience. Currently I go to a chiropractor/nutritionist and he has a biopedence system that tells me how much fat and muscle I have or have lost and how much intercellular and extracellular fluid I have. This past two weeks I lost 6 lbs of fat, 1 lb of muscle and gained 3 pounds of extracellular water. So the resulting weight loss was 4 lbs. When I see it those terms I can deal with it better. Of course, this is only the first month and I weigh in at 288. There can be a higher rate of weight loss in the first weeks. This doesn’t keep up. 1-2 lbs a week would be ideal.
I know of no one else that looks at weight gain and weight loss like that but it shows what really goes on with my body. I could tell I was retaining water, as we all can, so I began to drink more water to flush things out. Everyone is different but without this info I could get bogged down by the a single number.
Also I have started EMDR therapy. I won’t go into the details of the therapy but it releases trauma from the limbic brain. I began the therapy because of knee surgery that I was having a hard time facing and ended up dealing with abandonment issues. One week later I began with my healthy eating plan and have lost the 14 lbs in one month.
I’m thinking maybe that is could be why I have gained the weight back - because some other force is driving the eating. And is it stored in the limbic brain where there is no distinction between past and present ???
I am naturally sceptical, because of all the regains, but I also live in hope that there is a solution. I just know that sometimes I am ready to live without the excess food and other times I am not. SOMETHING IS GOING THERE !
I hope you have a wonderful time at the Women’s Gathering. There is a lot of strength and power in coming together, and you will be feeding your spirit as well as your body !
Take care and hugs, Janice
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:22 am
3
Lady Rose wrote…
Thank you both so much for the support and the information, lots to explore and look into. I have often thought there was something going on with my thyroid because a lot of the time I get sharp pains in my tongue and when that happens I can feel a small lump in the neck area. It’s not there all the time - so I assume it’s a swelling of something kind that comes and goes - making it hard to get a doctor to believe me. Thyroid tests come back normal and doctors just think I’m crazy.
Health and happiness to you both.
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:26 am
4
fatbastard wrote…
I think we all face these times. I’ve see sawed through weight over the past 10 years, and know that the losses can be lost in such a short time. But do this one thing:
Slow down when you eat.
I’ve found If I do that one thing, it is easier for me to push half a plate of food away.
Enjoy your time away!
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:14 am
5
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