BLOG RAW

I survived childhood by learning to not feel, not think, to curl up tight and close my eyes and barely breathe. However, you can’t survive very long without one day learning how to breathe.

Through my teens and early adulthood some days it was all I could manage to do, just lie still and just barely breathe. The weight of memories, pain, fears, self doubt, life, etc. drained everything else out of me. But I would breathe only as little as possible, enough to barely live but not enough to feel.

Eventually I realized that in order to do more then just survive I would need to breathe, deeply and totally, and I needed to learn how. I literally read books, took classes, and eventually learned to breathe.

During the year I took night classes for massage therapy training (about 15 years ago when I was in my late 30’s), was a turning point for me to focus consciously and daily on my breathing as a tool to relieve stress, release tension, and feel. I was very proud of myself for all the positive changes I was making in my life and health.

Then one day at work I was called into the office. My supervisor told me that one of the people I worked for didn’t want me “sighing” any more. I asked, “Excuse me, but what do you mean?” The supervisor replied, “You are sighing when you breathe.” I explained about the technique I was learning to reduce stress and that I was not trying to imply I was unwilling to do my job just by breathing deeply and letting the air out of my mouth. My supervisor told me to stop and do it only when I wasn’t around any one else. I was lucky enough to transfer out of that job not to long after that conversation.

So today I breathe, deeply, fully and embrace life. I also tell any one who says I shouldn’t breathe deeply to shove it.

Lady Rose

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BLOG RAW - I am used to Blogging Naked (sharing my weighins, my weight on the scale naked, my real age and being honest about my food intake, health issues etc), but this is my first Blog Raw Post here on the Diet Pulpit.  Blog Raw is sharing raw honesty and opening up the secrets, bringing light and healing to the darkness. I will from time to time be adding more Blog Raw posts as part of the healing journey of body, mind and spirit.

If you want to join in and\or learn more about the Blog Raw Movement (”we are only as weak as our deepest secrets”), head on over to Brahnamin’s blog Juggling Cats. I have been a fan of Brahnamin’s blog for a long time now, and this is just one example of why.

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