Friday Weighin: 202 lbs (a five pound gain for no reason)

UPDATE – Sat. 209 lbs (+7 lbs), next day over night another +7 lbs for no reason)

I didn’t cheat on my 52nd birthday Tuesday and I have not (nor will I ever) touch any Halloween candy – but evidently just being around it and just the thought of what a piece of birthday cake would have tasted like has caused a 5 lb gain.

I KNOW it’s water weight – but still it’s frustrating. With the weight gain of 1.5 lbs last week that is a total of 6.5 lbs gained in two weeks – for NO reason – I don’t touch anything that is not a powder packet from Medifast and one small portion of lean protein with a green veggie for dinner. The Medifast medical staff that I have been working with for the past 12 weeks are at a loss and totally have no clue what is wrong (everyone else on the program loses 2 to 5 lbs a week), and I barely lost anything (only 4.5 lbs in the first 10 weeks) and now week 11 and 12 I’m gaining – their only advice at this point is to see a doctor.

Prior to starting Medifast I was on my own diet (daily calories 800 to 900 – which was approved early 2006 by my doctor when I started) but as of June of this year the weight loss had stalled so I decided to go with Medifast to get things going again.

Over the past several decades I have seen doctors again and again – they all say eat less and trust me I would NEVER eat again if it were possible. I’ve been on 800 to 900 calories a day for over 70 weeks now and since June of this year I have been gaining and losing the same few pounds over and over.

This week I was having a lot of symptoms that I have had on and off for years. I have been having severe stabbing pains in my tongue again, with a swollen hard lump to the right side of my throat – mostly likely a lymph node. Which makes sense since I KNOW whenever I gain weight because I feel it filling up under my arms and upper thighs – all the places where lymphs are located. The area where my liver is, feels bloated and tender again. I’m more exhausted then usual – though it’s hard to tell since I’m always tired, but the brain fog is worse this week. The hot flashes and night sweats seem to have increased a bit as well – I get so hot sometimes I just stand outside or wear as little as possible, but when it’s over I’m freezing and have a hard time getting warm. All these symptoms have always been accompanied by weight gain in the past – and I am definitely gaining this time and it’s a LOT — even as I am typing I can feel it sorta of seeping in under skin.

Oh well, I have reduced my calories to as low as humanly possible – if my body insists on being fat and doctors can’t help me – I have no clue what else to do. I will give it one more try with a doctor, and plan to go next week and see what she says (I have off work Thurs. and Fri.). I don’t hold out much hope though that she will be able to help me.

I have a list of tests I would like to have done including a full range of thyroid tests (again!), blood sugar tests, liver enyzmes, c-protein levels for inflammation and hormones. If possible I would like my cortisol levels checked too – that is done with a salvia test (samples taken 4 times during the day), but that may be asking too much for a doctor to handle and I may end up having to get it done myself (through the mail). I don’t want to overwhelm the doctor by being to pushy. I will be insistant, but I want to build a good relationship with the doctor and not have her think I’m just a nut case.

I have been reading about the dangers of soy and how it’s really not healthy – perhaps it is possible that I’m not reacting well to it (soy is the protein used for the Medifast meals).  Perhaps it is the high protein based diet that is causing even more inflammation that usual.  One source says to avoid high protein diets all together if you have a fatty liver because the body can’t handle it and over loads the liver causing all kinds of problems – and I do have a fatty liver according to a liver scan I had done a couple years ago – (any one who is very overweight almost certainly does).

I was talking with my hubby about what to do this morning and I ended up breaking down in tears. I realized just how frightened I am of food. It truly terrifies me. I don’t know if I should stick with the Medifast for now or try something else. Medifast works so well for 1000s of people – but so far not for me, but I like it because I don’t have to deal with food at all. I don’t have to weigh, measure or cook. Once a week I prepare enough of a lean protein and green veggie for my dinners for the week and put them in containers. The rest of my daily meals are just packets I mix with water. It’s great! The thought of going back to counting every single calorie, precise measuring and dealing with a variety of food every day makes my stomach knot up because I am truly frightened I will gain even more weight just adding veggies and fruit. Sure I’ve done it, and yes I know I can do it — but when it’s not working or worse I continue to gain a lot more weight, it is just an added stress and frustration that is making me tremble and weak at the knees at the moment.

However, just because I’m feeling a little emotionally vulnerable today – I will do what I have to do and get over it.

No matter what I will eat as little as possible for the rest of my life, I don’t care what I weigh I just want to feel and be well and take care of my health (and being over 200 lbs is not healthy and is putting a strain on my heart). No matter what the scale says, it won’t be because I gave in and ate any food other then my daily five packets of powdered meals and little protein and a little veggie once a day or whatever type of very resticted diet I decide to go on.

So this weekend I’ll be deciding – should I stay with the Medifast program or will I switch to the Rice House diet – this is the only one I feel might be safe enough for me, (it allows only whole grains, fruit and veggies in measured portions), it has been extremely successful for over 25 years for 1000s of people.  

I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted on my decision and the unfolding melodrama of the scale and stay tuned for the next episode of “Diary of a Diet”. 

Health and Happiness to all.

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Currently Diet Pulpit is rarely updated. Lady Rose is now blogging at Blissful Moon, where she is staying healthy and continuing to have adventures, please stop by and visit.

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