Weighin – 239.5 lbs. (no loss this week)

I’m grateful for the scale reading today because it has been a roller coaster week. On the home scale during the week I gained a lot, at the highest point the scale showed a four pound gain. Needless to say I was in tears for a littler while. I had to face the doctor’s office this week on Thursday for the three week check up after the gastric bypass and I was terrified of what the scale would read – fortunately at the office I only showed a one pound gain (344 lbs) from the week before. The lecture was stern but not too devasting. Emotionally I was in a very fragile place but I was able to handle it for now, but I’m worried about next week’s visit.

My next doctor visit is Tuesday, so I only have five days to some how lose that pound and more. I am now allowed any food I want, being sure to add one food at a time and chewing a lot. Of course I will be sticking to my 800 calorie plan that I always do. However, it is much more difficult now because I have to a lot more protein that I’m used too and protein foods are so high in calories. For now though I’m going to keep my calories down to 500 or 600 as much as possible and hope for the best that I can lose some weight.

I know I won’t lose very much, but I must admit I’m a little disappointed. I had hoped that I would be able to at least get close or maybe even just under 200 lbs before hitting a wall and starting to gain again for no reason. But gastric bypass surgery is not a miracle and I knew that going into this. It is simple a tool that helps reduce hunger and helps to cut down on food intake. And for that I am grateful.

No matter what happens I will now and always eat as little as possible and focus on staying positive as much as possible. It is a struggle sometimes, especially when the doctors don’t believe me, but I know my body and it is going to do what it always does, and I have to just push myself to focus on life, laughter, and moving forward regardless of what my body decides to gain or not lose or hopefully occasionally lose now and then.

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