Weight: 289.5  -  this week’s weight lost 1.5 lbs.   

I wasn’t sure I would lose anything this week and really thought I’d gain.  Monday’s trip to the White House was awesome, but totally wiped me out.  My knees were twice the size of my head, every single joint in my body ached and throbbed, and the bottom of feet were on fire until about Thursday then they were just sore (the plantar ficisitis had been flaring to the max).  I knew my body was filled with lots and lots of fluid from inflammation. 

My calories for the week were 800 to 900 every day, except for Monday.  Whilte traveling Monday I had 2 protein bars, 2 100-calorie packs of chez-its, 1 bite of hubby’s hot dog and a few sips of his hot chocolate, a bottle of water, and at the end of day I was starving.  It was very late when we arrived at the train station with another hour and half to wait for our train.  There were not that many places to chose from at the train station to eat except for cookie stands and various fast food places.   I caved in to my exhaustion, low blood sugar crashing, and hunger pain and ate a slice of pizza with a side salad (on top of which I used the packet of dressing – which was several 100s of calories for just a TBL or two).  It was totally delicious and within a few minutes of finishing it I regretted every bite.  There was no way of knowing for sure how many calories I had for the day – but a rough guess I figured was about 1500 calories for the day but maybe more.  I had eaten enough for two days worths and I knew I would pay for it big time.

Between the extra calories on Monday and the gallons of fluid swelling my joints I just didn’t have the nerve to weigh myself on Tueday morning.   I rested as much as I could for the rest of the week.  I kept my fluid intake to the barest minimum of a few sips a day.  I made sure I kept my calories the rest of the week on track and exactly counted.  Yesterday I was still feeling swollen, but the pain was starting to ease a little and return to the usual levels I have every day.  Last night I ended urinating several times all through the night, at least 5 times from the time I went to bed till the time I gave up and just got out of bed this morning exhausted.  However, the lack of sleep was worth it since it seems my body has gotten rid of most of the excessive swelling from Monday and luckily I ended able to have a loss on the scale this morning.

Tomorrow I have another big challenge to face, a baby shower.  It is being held at one of the local restaurants that is very very very good, one of my favorites that normally I would never ever go near it.   **sigh*    I would normally turn down such invitations, but this is for our favorite nephew and his wife who are having their first baby and I really want to be there.   

My plan is to totally ingore the awesome bread basket the restaurant puts out.  I am not sure what options I will have to order for the meal, since at most events like this the host or hostess usually picks three entress for the guests to pick from.   If there is a fish dish I will order that, if not then chicken.  Most likely one of their big salads will come with the meal.  I will bring my own low calorie no fat dressing.  I plan on eating the salad and only a bite or two of the entree, ingore the veggies (since they most likely have butter on them), and bring the rest home for my hubby to enjoy for dinner at home.   Of course, I won’t even look at any dessert or cake and if need be I will leave early before that even becomes an issue (hopefully the gifts will have been opened before that).

I know I can do this, I will NOT eat, I will NOT be weak.  I will focus on the reason I am there and totally ignore any temptation to eat anything other then salad and two or three bites of the entree.

If I feel a moment of weakness, I will just keep reminding myself that I have the strength and will power to achieve my goal.  To reach my first goal of approval for weight loss surgery in July or August, I only need to overcome the constant hunger for a few more months so I can lose a few pounds each month until the date of surgery.   After that I will be able to eat very very little and not be hungry – which is the ultimate goal.  To be able to eat the way I need to (800 to 900 caloires a day) for the rest of my life without the gnawing pains of constant hunger. Achieving that goal I know will give me the strength I need to face the challenge of being at a restaurant tomorrow.

So far on the calender I don’t have any other big challenges until June – but I’ll deal with those when the time comes.

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