Today is day 3 of my seriously following a new eating plan (my basic diet plan and also incorporating the general guidelines of the director of the weight loss surgery center). This means I’m back to keeping calories at around 800 a day. I’ve been having protein bars, apples, bananas, oatmeal, and veggies – which all adds up to very scary and perilous dashes to the bathroom.

Note: Sunday was my new beginning weighin day and I had planned on starting on Monday. However, Monday was an unexpected snow day and day off so postponed “officially” starting new eating plan and indulged a little while enjoying being home and relaxing with the family.

Yesterday morning, at the start of day 2, I knew things were going to get interesting because of my many trips to the bathroom between waking up and getting out the door for work. Luckily the tummy pains subsided and I was able to make it into work only 20 minutes late (which I made up at the end of the day by staying later).

This morning was almost as bad while at home, but I managed to get out the door on time. However, that wasn’t enough for my innards. So I have had to high tail it to the bathroom twice more while here at work and “pray” I make it.

When I have to “go,” I really and truly only have maybe 30 to 60 seconds to make it. The only warning I get is a lot of pain, followed by rumbling, followed by the urgent need to “RUN!” My desk is all the way on the other side of the building. I have to travel a long narrow hallway – if there is a meeting in any of the rooms along that hallway sometimes there are folks hanging out in the hallway blocking the way. On top of those obstacles I also can’t move very fast because of knee and hip pain.  

If it wasn’t so dire, the whole scene would be funny. I have to scramble down the loooooonog hallway, teeth clenched, butt cheeks squeezed tight enough to crack a coconut, huffing and puffing as if I’m in a marathon, dodging and weaving obstacles as they appear, as I am racing to beat the persistent waves of my intestinal tract.  And trust me, weighing over 300 lumbering pounds down a tight hallway, it isn’t a pretty sight.

My innards really do not do well with healthy foods, and add a lot of veggies to that and it means I am literally dashing for my life.

My grandmother was the same way and would, unfortunately, all through my childhood  retell in graphic detail ”incidents” she had in public where she lost and her intestines won.  To try and avoid these incidents as she got older she ate mostly crackers and other nonthreatening foods a week or so before she had to leave the house for anything.   These stories left me quaking in my boots and praying that I had been switched at birth and not genetically related to her.   My mother as she grew older developed the same intestinal tendencies, but since she only eats junk food and a tiny meal now and then (with almost no veggies) she avoids the problem and potential embarrasments most of the time. 

A little over a decade or so ago I started having similar troubles, but it was very slight and not all the time, so I was able to fool myself into thinking I wouldn’t have the same troubles.  After having my gall bladder out (about 9 years ago) my body rebelled even more against veggies and other healthy foods and the inner digestive struggles intensified.  Eventually I knew I was doomed and had inherited the “curse” and would be forever locked in a battle of wills struggling against my intestinal track and trying to perseve at least a shred my dignity.

On the bright side, I’m hoping that after I have the weight loss surgery that I will eating so little food that the intensity won’t be as bad and not happen as often.  But only time will tell.  For now, I will battle on.

UPDATE:  In response to a comment asking “why I struggle, going is natural” – I guess I didn’t explain the situation clearly enough.  I didn’t want to be too graphic.  Of course “going is natural” – but the stuggle is because “explosive” going several times a day with no control and accompanied by severe adominal pain is not natural and presents situations that potentially are extremely embarrassing – especially at work where there is no where to clean up and change clothes.  The struggle I have is not to “stop” going – the struggle is to hold in the “explosion” long enough to make it to the bathroom.

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