Last week (#123) Weight 291,  gain 6.5 lbs

This week (#124) Weight – 291, stayed same

At this point eating three small meals and sometimes less when I can make it through the day continues to not be working.  I gave up a bit last night and had Chinese take out (Chicken and Broccoli) with my hubby.  I may try going back on the medically supervised Medifast Diet on Monday (4 liquid meals, 1 small meal for 800 calories a day) – but it didn’t work before when I tried for a couple months and I’m just not sure I have the stamina, focus, and determination right now to be that hungry all the time.  I’ve tried a couple times to get back on it and I end up failing.   However, I just can’t think of anything else to try.  I’m going to relax this weekend, stick to the three small meals, and see how I feel on Monday.

My starting weight was 293.5 May 1,2006 - I’m only 2.5 lbs from being back to my starting weight and within a week or two I will probably top that weight.  I had managed to lose about 90 lbs until last fall, then I stopped losing.  In Jan. 08 I went to see my doctors. My doctor said she wouldn’t help me until I was exercising an hour a day to the point of exhaustion, but when I tried increasing my excersing the first two weeks I ended up gaining 9 lbs overnight the first week and 16 lbs the next week and since then my weight has gone up almost every week since.  My theory is I think it is because of the heart failure and a lot of fluid retention – however, that is just a theory.  I mentioned the rapid weight gain to my cardiologist and she just said eat less.  

I haven’t been able to bring myself to go back to either doctor, emotionally I just can’t handle their disapproval. I was already eating as little as I can  and I can’t get my exercise level up to what my doctor wants me to because I get dizzy, the pain is unbearable (arthritis pain in the joints),  I can barely breathe and I gain weight even faster. 

Later this month I am seeing a new cardiologist.  I am trying to not get my hopes up that he can help me in any way other then to just keep renewing my perscriptions like the other doctor.  I don’t want to be disappointed.  But I will try to discuss the issue with him a little.

All I can do is take one day at time and focus on the positives.

Rate:
2.5

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