Diet Pulpit

The big day is scheduled for August 5, 2009. I have the date circled on my calendar. I also have July 22nd circled because that is the day I start on the two week pre-op diet - ONLY liquid protein shakes with a few veggies if needed. Nothing else whatsoever is to be eaten. The folks at the gastric bypass office make it 100% clear that if anything else is eaten surgery will be canceled.

I have one more monthly weighin at the office in July 13. As long as I lose some weight the surgery will go ahead as planned. If I do not lose anything, or worse, gain an ounce the surgery will be canceled and I would have to start all over again from day one for another six months of preparation.

The only difference between the pre-op diet and the diet I normally follow is that instead of just protein shakes a couple times a day I have 1 protein bar and a serving of lean protein (either chicken or fish) and the only other thing I eat is veggies.

Of course on the pre-op diet plan I can’t eat very many veggies and the liquid protein will not be as filling as having something solid. I make sure I am always hungry any way, but I am sure that these two weeks are going to be a bit rough to handle and I’ll be a lot more then hungry - more like starving.

But it will all be worthwhile. I am soooooo looking forward to giving up even more food. I make sure I eat as little as possible now (about 800 calories a day), but before the surgery and after I will be able eat even less. It will be a relief to once and for all not be starving and often ravenous while living on next to nothing.

Even though I may never ever lose that much weight, at least after the surgery I won’t have to deal with being hungry for a long, long, long, long time (could be as long as six months to a year). Of course hunger will eventually return, but it will never be as bad as I experience it now, so it will still be better. Plus I will be able to shout from the rooftops do NOT FEED ME EVER!!!!! and no one can argue with me again. I am so sick of people encouraging me to eat, to try this, to have just one bite. Of course I never do! But it is exhausting having the same arguments over and over and over again and to keep explaining over and over and over and over - that I will gain lots and lots of pounds just from ONE bite so STOP trying to get me to taste something or take a break for a day. Once I have my surgery I can tell the world to leave me alone forever - no more trying to get me to celebrate a birthday with tiny piece of cake, no more trying to get me to have a lick of an ice cream cone.

And before any one freaks out, please rest assured everything I eat now is approved and supervised by the doctors at the gastric bypass office. After the surgery food intake is also monitored weekly for several months, and afterwards followups scheduled every few months to be sure everything is ok and I’m following the diet guidelines, and after that an annual checkup is scheduled.

I also know that Gastric Bypass Surgery is not a miracle cure. It is only a tool. I will still need to be the one in charge and in control to keep my food intake to a bare minimum for life. However, at least having the tool (”pouch” after gastric bypass surgery) I will be able to live my life with a lot less hunger and the daily battle to not eat anything but a little protein and some veggies will be easier.

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Weighin 268 lbs, a two pound loss from last week. 

I’m grateful for losing anything this week because I was a little worried - after my outing last Saturday to the Well Sweep Herb Farm I ended up gaining 2.5 lbs overnight just from the little bit of walking around I did.  But I stayed off my feet as much as possible, drank very little and ate as little as possible and manage to drop the gained water weight as well as a little more.  

I have my monthly office visit on Monday at the Gastric Bypass office and report on my monthly weighin results.  If all goes well I will be able to schedule the actual date for my surgery at this visit.

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Week 13 May 30 my weight as 275 lbs, a gain of 1.5 lbs from the previous week (week 12 weighin was 273.5). I’m not sure why, I didn’t touch any food that I wasn’t suppose to. I barely ate anything on Sunday, didn’t drink very much liquids and kept very still and by Monday I was able to get rid of the gain and show a loss for the week - although 2 days late - weighing in at 272 lbs.

Week 14 weighin 270.5, a 1.5 lbs loss from last week.

I’ve been keeping calories down to around 700 calories most days and 600 calories for a couple, which is even better then the usual 800 or so I usually do a day.

Today is a BIG day - I am taking my best friend, Mama Kelly, out for the day to an Well Sweep Herb Farm here in NJ. She loves herbs and I’m hoping she will enjoy a relaxing day at the open house - with lots of classes and garden tours. 

We will have a pinic lunch.  For my friend and her friend who is also coming along we will stop at WaWa and I’ll have them pick out whatever they want to bring along.  For me I’m bringing a shrimp ring and a big bag of mixed greens with no fat dressing (only about 200 calories total).  For breakfast I am having my usual Extend (protein) bar.  I will bring an extra along in case I get really hungry later in the day since I’m not sure what time we will get back to my house and when I’ll get to have dinner.

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Weight: 273.5 (a 2 1/2 lb loss for the week)

Food intake the same has it has been - Extend bar for breakfast, baby carrots for lunch, and fish or chicken with a bag of frozen veggies for dinner. Total daily calories between 700 to 850 a day.

I have managed to not have one taste and not even one sniff of anything else. And trust me, the not sniffing isn’t easy but necessary. I have gained weight even if I never tasted something, but just smelled it cooking all day. And with hubby being a good cook it means staying out of the kitchen and the surrounding area to avoid being near food.

However, that is just the way life is and I’m determined to do what ever is necessary.

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My laptop computer has become totally worthless right now and I’m not sure when I can afford to have it fixed or if it can even be fixed.

Early last year it was acting up so took into a repair office, and several hundred dollars later and a lot of mumbo jumbo computer geek speak, it was up and running with a shiny new super duper security system.

Well that security system didn’t prevent my laptop from being taken over last week by something that is now blackmailing me.

I only visit about six or seven websites, all of them I know well and I haven’t opened any emails in months and months so I have no idea where this thing came from.

I was in the middle of playing a game on facebook and a big “personal security system” box opened up with a flashing warning saying my computer was under attack and I had 346 viruses, trojans, worms and a long list of scary things (including password stealers) scrolled below the message. At first I thought it would a warning from my security program or perhaps something from AOL’s security software. However, my security program icon was no where to be found and I couldn’t even locate it under “all programs.” The flashing warning screen wouldn’t let me close it and I couldn’t find “personal security system” listed any where in “all programs” menu so that I could uninstall it. On top of that, the computer was now blocking all the websites (like facebook) that I visit saying that they were the ones attacking the computer.

So I shut everything off and walked away.

The next morning I turned it back on and there was the big screen again flashing at me. My security program icon was back and I scanned everything but nothing was found so it has been disabled or is just totally useless against whatever this thing is.

Just to see what would happen, I clicked on the flashing screens button that said to remove the viruses, trojans, and worms and another window popped up saying it would cost me $29.95 to download the necessary software to get rid of various viruses, etc.

I may not know much about computers, but I am not dumb enough to plug in my credit card information into a computer screen that was put there by some invading program.

So for now my laptop is blackmailing for $29.95 or it will continue to block all websites and flash this annoying big warning screen. I do not negoitiate with invading software so it can blink all it wants too. I won’t be turning the laptop back on any time soon.

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Week 9 (May 2) - 280 lbs
Week 10 (May 9) - 278 lbs
Week 11 (May 16) - 276 lbs

Total of 9 pounds lost since week 8 (285 lbs). There was one mid-week weight gain of 2.5 lbs between week 8 and 9 because I used a packet of soy sauce to add a touch of flavor to some broccole. It took a lot of effort and crossing of fingers to lose that and I will never do that again.

Basic diet has been:
Breakfast - 1 cup of coffee with 2 servings of nonfat creamor (50 calories) abnd Extend Bar (protein bar, 150 calories)
Lunch - 2 servings of baby carrots (70 calories) and a little no fat dressing (50 calories)
Dinner is either 200 calories worth of fish or 300 calories of chicken (no skin) and a half bag to a bag of veggies (75 to 150 calories) depending on how hungry I am.
Calories range between 700 to 800 a day.

I had my cardiologist appointment this yesterday and he order two tests (a stress test and echo) in order to make the evaluation for the upcoming gatric bypass surgery. The tests are scheduled for June 26.

I will have my 5th appointment on Monday with the director of the gastric bypass surgery clinic. I am hoping that I don’t gain anything over the weekend. I am taking Angelgirl (my daughter) out to the mall for clothes shopping (it is what she wanted for her 13th birthday which was yesterday). I am keeping my fingers crossed that my knees and other joints don’t swell up too much and add a lot of pounds to the scale reading Monday.

We took Angelgirl out to eat on her birthday and my mom came along too. It was a nice time out together. We went to the China Buffet which is one of Angelgirl’s favorite spots. I managed to not gain anything from the meal out by just eating salad greens with a few tomato and cucumber slices, and a handful of pick and peel shrimp. At least by having the shrimp I felt I got at least some of my money’s worth for paying for a buffet when I was actually wasn’t eating very much at all.

The gastric bypass folks don’t believe me either that I can gain a lot of weight really fast (i.e. several pounds overnight) so I have to be very very careful not to show any weight gain. They are serious about weight gain and will cancel surgery if the scale goes up.

I see the gastroendoconolist next Friday - finally! It’s been over two months since my diagnosis and not one doctor has told me what to do for the gastritis and Barrett’s esphogus.

I still have to set up the second sleep test to get fitted for the sleep machine. I have had sooooo much going on I just couldn’t bring myself to call but I will call on Monday and set it up.

This is a crazy month. Angelgirl has started work on the Silver Award for Girl Scouts. I have a big crochet project for the Girl Scout troop for the Memorial Day Parade. I am making them all red-white-blue wrist warmers to wear. I’m not making them as long as an arm warmer since it is going to be hot - but just long enough to add a nice touch of color.

Teacherman (my hubby) will be away the last week of the month for a school trip. He is an acadmic advisor for his school’s Odyssey of the Mind club. They won second place for the state competition and are going to Iowa to compete in the national.

That same week Angelgirl has to attend Karate camp for three days - so somehow I have to drive her there Friday and pick her up the following Sunday by myself. I can barely find my way home from work sometimes, so the idea of driving by myself way way way up North somewhere is a bit stressful.

I am getting the last minute details done for my best friend’s 40th birthday next month. I have a big day planned for her and some special surprises.

I’ve been running around like a mad woman gathering up paperwork because we are also going to be refinancing our mortgage down to 4 1/2% for 15 years, which will save us a little over $100 a month. Since it is an FHA mortgage it doesn’t cost us anything. And if I keep doing what I’ve been doing which is paying half the mortgage payment biweekly and extra each month towards the principal the mortgage will definitely be paid off in under 9 years. We started out 6 years ago with a 30 year mortgage at 6 1/2 %; refinanced six months after we moved it down to a 25 year mortgage at 5 3/4%. It has been my top priority each and every month to keep paying it down.

My laptop is also dead - well not dead, but it is blackmailing me. So I haven’t had much access to the internet. I’ll write more about that later on.

I think that covers just about everything that has happened and will be going on over the next couple weeks. I’m a bit overwhelmed to say the least, but there is lots of exciting stuff going to look forward too so it makes it all worth while.

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Well the results are on in from my sleep test.  A sleep test score of 35+ means extremely severe sleep apenea.  My test results: 60.

That means I stop breathing 60 times a minute.  

I am, to say the least, not a happy camper right now.   I have to schedule a second sleep test in order to get the stupid sleep machine thing calibrated.  Next I have to schedule a home care person to come to my house and set the machine up.  Then I’m going to have to find some remote place in the house to sleep in so the noise doesn’t keep hubby and my daughter awake all night.   The second floor has a recliner, but no tv, so I guess I’ll end up sitting up there all night getting no sleep at all now.    At least before the machine I was getting 4 to 5 hours a night.  But once this machine gets going, sleep is going to be impossible, plus I’ll be alone and HOT (it gets extremely hot up there), and not even a tv to keep me company.

The ONLY reason I’m even considering going along with any of this is because if I don’t they will not approve my gastric bypass surgery.  However, once the surgery is over with, I plan on not using the machine very much, if at all so I can go back to getting at least some sleep.

Eventuallly, once I lose some weight, the sleep apenea should clear up.  I know I will never lose a lot of weight, but hopefully enough so that the sleep apenea either clears up all together or is just mild.

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Weight - 285 lb, which is a 4.5 loss for the week.   It’s a nice boost.  

I wasn’t all that hungry this week so I was able to keep my calories really low.  And even though I had the baby shower last Sunday I didn’t eat much there either.  It was a brunch, served family style - I had a small half slice of ham, one spoonful of hashbrown potatoes, and a big spoonful of scrambled eggs and two cups of coffee.  I estimated a total of 500 calories for all of it, but since it counted for two meals that wasn’t too awful.  I had a small dinner so my overall calories were still under 1000 for the day.

I have decided to put the whole low vitamin D being a possible result of having a parathyroid tumor (which would mean major surgery) on the back burner.   I’m just going to focus on doing what I have to do to qualify and get ready for the gastric bypass surgery, hopefully to be scheduled this summer in August.  I will deal with getting all the other possible health issues later on - it’s not like it is definitely the problem so I wanted to get the gastric bypass done first since that is definitely needed to improve my health. 

After all if I do have a problem with my parathyroid then I’ve had it for years, so waiting another year or two isn’t going to be a big deal.  Once I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, I can then go into my doctor’s office and ask about getting the needed testing without the usual response of looking me up and down and then being dismissed as just another fat person who thinks they have a thyroid problem. 

I’m heading over to see my best friend Mama Kelly today for our usual monthly overnight visit.   We try to get in a visit every month whenever possible.  It’s one of the rare times I get to spend any quality time with any one else outside of my family and work so it’s a real treat for me.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

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This past Monday was my monthly visit at Weight Loss Clinic - weighin at the office 292 lbs (so only a 3 lb loss from the last months) - however it was not a full month, it was actually only 3 weeks (due to having last month’s visit bumped up a week). Any way, at least it showed a loss.

But some issues came up while I was there, that now have me a bit concerned (well honestly one has me very concerned).

A minor issue is the office is NOW asking for my weighins from my primary doctor for last two years. My concern is that the few times (many once a year) that I was weighed at my primary doctor’s office the weight may be low (closer to 200 or a little under) because it could have been during the time right before I gained back everything. My concern is if my BMI for these past weighins is not high enough, will I get disqualified for the gastric bypass surgery. I am hoping this is not the case. But if it turns out that it does I will be furious, because I will have gone through all these tests and hoops that past few months for nothing. However, I’m trying not to fret about it too much and just get the information and see what happens.

The other issue is a major concern and I haven’t really wrapped my brain around it yet and I have to work up the nerve to deal with it and get the necessary appointments and research done.

Last month when I met with the weight loss surgeon he mentioned my Vitamin D was low - no biggie, just take a calcuim vitamin with D. This month at my appointment I met with John the director, and he mentioned it too, but right that after he said oh and your parathyroid result is off too, but that is because of the low vitamin D.

Well of course I have to look up what does low vitamin D have to do with parathyroid. And guess what - it seems that the only reason that vitamin d gets low is because of parathyroid problems (usually a tumor) - not the other way around - and that taking extra calcium and vitamin D would cause more problems. Plus I have almost all the symptoms of a parathyroid problem - high blood pressure, heart palpitations, exhaustion, feeling old, can’t concentrate, high blood pressure, kidney stones, etc. etc. etc. I am going to have to do more research, but I am definitely going to have to see my primary physician and hopefully convince him to let me see an endocronologist specialist to determine if my parathyroid is the problem - especially since it may involve MAJOR surgery (long incisions on both sides of the neck) to remove the tumor.   And on top of that, very few doctors are familiar with the surgery so it is very difficult to find a good specialist.

I’ve often thought I had a thyroid problem or something for many, many years now - plus one odd thing I have is a frequent sharp pain in the side of my tongue that radiates up from neck, and I can often feel a tiny hard lump in that side of my neck.

Since I’m overweight, any time I mention thyroid tests to a doctor - they just tell me to stop eating and exercise (considering my calorie intake is 800 to 1000 calories a day and I have rhumatoid arthritis which makes exercise very very painful their advice is not helpful).   For about 15 years now every time I see a doctor I tell them I can’t sleep, I’m exhausted, everything hurts, I feel like I have a brain fog most of time, etc. etc. - and all they say is “you’re getting old, get used to it.”   But this has been going on since I was in my late 30s - which really is a bit young to be feeling like I was 100.  But because I’m female and overweight doctors just keep dimissing any thing that I try to get help for.  

Of course it may turn out to be nothing at all - but I really am concerned because I can’t seem to find any other reason for my vitamin D to be low except a parathyroid tumor. 

Even if it’s not a tumor, low vitamin D can be serious.  Studies show that individuals with lower blood levels of vitamin D appear to have an increased risk of death overall and from cardiovascular causes.  I have had congestive heart failure for a few years now and high blood pressure for a lot longer.  So I definitely have to make sure I get my vitamin D levels straightened out.

The thought of dealing with more tests and more doctors makes me exhausted just thinking about it.  I’m trying not to worry about it. I will do some more research and see the doctor and after that if anything has to be done, I’ll just do it.

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Weight: 289.5  -  this week’s weight lost 1.5 lbs.   

I wasn’t sure I would lose anything this week and really thought I’d gain.  Monday’s trip to the White House was awesome, but totally wiped me out.  My knees were twice the size of my head, every single joint in my body ached and throbbed, and the bottom of feet were on fire until about Thursday then they were just sore (the plantar ficisitis had been flaring to the max).  I knew my body was filled with lots and lots of fluid from inflammation. 

My calories for the week were 800 to 900 every day, except for Monday.  Whilte traveling Monday I had 2 protein bars, 2 100-calorie packs of chez-its, 1 bite of hubby’s hot dog and a few sips of his hot chocolate, a bottle of water, and at the end of day I was starving.  It was very late when we arrived at the train station with another hour and half to wait for our train.  There were not that many places to chose from at the train station to eat except for cookie stands and various fast food places.   I caved in to my exhaustion, low blood sugar crashing, and hunger pain and ate a slice of pizza with a side salad (on top of which I used the packet of dressing - which was several 100s of calories for just a TBL or two).  It was totally delicious and within a few minutes of finishing it I regretted every bite.  There was no way of knowing for sure how many calories I had for the day - but a rough guess I figured was about 1500 calories for the day but maybe more.  I had eaten enough for two days worths and I knew I would pay for it big time.

Between the extra calories on Monday and the gallons of fluid swelling my joints I just didn’t have the nerve to weigh myself on Tueday morning.   I rested as much as I could for the rest of the week.  I kept my fluid intake to the barest minimum of a few sips a day.  I made sure I kept my calories the rest of the week on track and exactly counted.  Yesterday I was still feeling swollen, but the pain was starting to ease a little and return to the usual levels I have every day.  Last night I ended urinating several times all through the night, at least 5 times from the time I went to bed till the time I gave up and just got out of bed this morning exhausted.  However, the lack of sleep was worth it since it seems my body has gotten rid of most of the excessive swelling from Monday and luckily I ended able to have a loss on the scale this morning.

Tomorrow I have another big challenge to face, a baby shower.  It is being held at one of the local restaurants that is very very very good, one of my favorites that normally I would never ever go near it.   **sigh*    I would normally turn down such invitations, but this is for our favorite nephew and his wife who are having their first baby and I really want to be there.   

My plan is to totally ingore the awesome bread basket the restaurant puts out.  I am not sure what options I will have to order for the meal, since at most events like this the host or hostess usually picks three entress for the guests to pick from.   If there is a fish dish I will order that, if not then chicken.  Most likely one of their big salads will come with the meal.  I will bring my own low calorie no fat dressing.  I plan on eating the salad and only a bite or two of the entree, ingore the veggies (since they most likely have butter on them), and bring the rest home for my hubby to enjoy for dinner at home.   Of course, I won’t even look at any dessert or cake and if need be I will leave early before that even becomes an issue (hopefully the gifts will have been opened before that).

I know I can do this, I will NOT eat, I will NOT be weak.  I will focus on the reason I am there and totally ignore any temptation to eat anything other then salad and two or three bites of the entree.

If I feel a moment of weakness, I will just keep reminding myself that I have the strength and will power to achieve my goal.  To reach my first goal of approval for weight loss surgery in July or August, I only need to overcome the constant hunger for a few more months so I can lose a few pounds each month until the date of surgery.   After that I will be able to eat very very little and not be hungry - which is the ultimate goal.  To be able to eat the way I need to (800 to 900 caloires a day) for the rest of my life without the gnawing pains of constant hunger. Achieving that goal I know will give me the strength I need to face the challenge of being at a restaurant tomorrow.

So far on the calender I don’t have any other big challenges until June - but I’ll deal with those when the time comes.

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