Week 135 305 (12/27/08)
Week 134 303
Week 133 302.5
Week 132 299
To sum up, as of this weighin I am 11.5 lbs more then when I started this blog and my quest to drop some pounds.
We had a nice relaxing holiday. I’m off from work for two weeks (go back to work Jan. 5) and I’m looking forward to being with my hubby and my daughter and visiting close friends.
I am mentally and emotionally preparing myself for the hurdles and obstacle course that I am going to have to go through in order to hopefully get approved for gastric bypass surgery (or the stomach banding). It is a long and bumpy road and no guarantee that at the end of months and months of jumping through hoops that approval and surgery will be granted. (Note: my new cardiologist I met in November highly recommended that I get the bypass surgery, and I wholeheartedly agree and would have gotten it years ago if I had been able to.)
Dec. was a month of preparation. Dec. 2 I called my health insurance to get information. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they now cover more places then just the NY hospital (which two years ago was the only place they allowed and was too far for me to travel to another state to have it done). But now, I will be able to go to a medical center right near my home. Two weeks later I got up the courage to call my primary doctor - after past encounters with doctors I wasn’t sure how much emotional turmoil I might have to endure (for example a year ago when I asked the doctor for help in losing weight I was told to dress like Oprah and cut my hair).
I was pleasantly surprised that getting the referral went fairly smoothly. Though I had to call the insurance company back a couple times to get information and then relay it to the doctor’s office (I still don’t understand why the doctor’s office couldn’t get it directly from the insurance folks or their website). The insurance company kept telling me the information I needed was on their website that the doctor could look up and therefore wouldn’t give it to me over the phone, but I had to convince them that my doctor’s office wanted it directly from me not the web site. In the end after a few calls back and forth, the insurance company gave me the webpage urls and I had to download the pages from the website and fax it over to the doctor’s office.
It only took a couple days for the referral to arrive in the mail. Once I had the referral in my hand so I was sure I actually had it and could referance the information on it I was ready to call the medical center. I waited until my vacation started so I could call from home and not have everyone over hear the call at work. The staff was very nice, but even with all the information I already had and the referral with a codes all filled out, I still had to call my insurance company back one more time to get even more information to relay back to the medical center before I could get an appointment.
My appointment is for Jan. 27th. I was told that it will a very, very long time after that before they even consider the surgery so to not expect any decisions for months and I will have to have a lot of evaluations (including a psych evaluation) first.
I know a couple folks who have the gastric band surgery, and the average time it takes is about six months from the first appointment to approval. I am hoping to talk to my sister’s friend who just had it done to get more details.
My main concern is that I won’t get approved by the insurance company. I’ve read that you have to diet for several months first, but if you lose a few pounds, the insurance company denies you because they say “the diet worked therefore no surgery is necessary.”
My other concern is that I will be disqualified because I want the surgery too much, that I truly with all my heart want to be able to eat as little as possible. I can accept that I may not lose much weight, that I will most likely be overweight for the rest of my life - but I desparately want to be able to get off the see saw that I’ve been on for 40 years of losing a few pounds and gaining back a ton.
I can do 800 calories for a year or two, but after that starving all the time and still being overweight (around 200 lbs) wears me down and eventually I eat something normal like a sandwich and gain 5 lbs or more over night. If I can get the surgery, sticking to 800 calories a day won’t be as difficult and I won’t get hungry, and even if I never get under 200 lbs, I will be able to avoid food for the rest of my life. I will know that I have done all that I can and when others dish out their well being advice of eat less, eat more, do that, don’t do this - I can smile and say I am doing all I can and following my doctor’s advice.
Previously all my diets were approved by doctor (800 calories a day, medifast, etc), however I know that very few people, including my doctors ever really believed me about what I ate (even with my daily journal recording everything). But with a gastric band, I will have proof that I am not eating, and I will have a “get out of eating card” to flash to any one who tries to get me to taste something, eat more, have one bite, etc. I can smile and without guilt tell folks thank you but no thanks, and never have to feel twisted up inside because I can see the look in people’s eyes that they don’t believe me that I’m on a diet (because I’m overweight).
The waiting will difficult and the not knowing will be difficult. But this is truly my last hope, so I will do whatever is necessary and hope for the best.
Tags: fatblogging, weighin, weight gain
